2019 New Year’s Obit

…died of bad humours. Did I say humour? I meant humor. Died of her sense of humor. She was making jokes as fast as she could think them up, sometimes making them before she had a chance to make them funny.

She is survived by all of the jokes she would have put on Twitter if she had been active on Twitter. She is also miraculously survived by her husband of 5 years. Miraculously because he experienced firsthand the sense of humor that ultimately eliminated his spouse.

She is also survived by her mother and father, from whom she inherited the humor. The pathologist could only conclude that the genetic aspects of her humor were separately harmless but deadly when combined. According to the post-mortem, it was a wonder she almost made it to 30.

At her wake, her father recalled one of her more memorable bits. “She had watched that show, The Haunting of Hill House, and said she was purposefully calling it by the wrong name: Haunty McHill House, Hillary Haunter House, Housey McHaunted Hill, Haunted House Hill… just like her father,” he said with a tear in his eye. When remembering their mutual fits of laughter and goofiness, her mother was overcome with a new fit of laughter that ended, as it often did, in tears and a fit of coughing.

Of her final requests, only one truly caught the ire of her more serious relatives. She requested that during her services, Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast be played on speakers throughout the funeral home. In her last year, Scott Aukerman podcasts were the only thing that sustained her in the midst of Ohio republicanism. Also playing would be a laugh track as a respectful nod to those who may not feel like laughing on the day of her remembrance.

The deceased recorded the laugh track herself, and after the services, family members reflected on her artificial chuckling. While walking quickly from the funeral home, some commented to each other that it was a chilling memento. Her brother said it was a fitting self-eulogy. “Very endearing,” he noted as he walked away with a smile on his face.

Now on to 2019.