

2022 New Year’s Obit Alternate
…her one stipulation for her funeral was that there be bouncers to enforce that everyone wear a mask. For greatest effect, this was not announced prior to the funeral.

2018 Fake Stand-up
I guarantee every woman that uses tampons has on multiple occasions mistaken feeling slightly cold for having a fever and dying of TSS.

2018 New Year’s Obit
While the deceased’s unfinished projects could technically be designated unfinished business, they did not require her to “Casper-it-up”.

2017 New Year’s Obit
She died with excellent oral hygiene despite only ever picking up flossing for a few days at a time.

2016 New Year’s Obit
Before her death, her most recent achievement was somewhat successfully using a menstrual cup.